Nursing School & the Challenges of Fatherhood

Clinical Math
Our OB clinical schedule has been posted and I was surprised to learn I had one more clinical than expected. It turns out that clinical hours are being calculated differently than last semester (psych & community). The instructor is subtracting out lunch breaks. Last semester our clinicals were calculated by the total amount of time we were required to be at the facility. I'm not complaining b/c I need the clinical experience. I just wish my clinicals weren't stretching into finals week.

****************************
As usual, my head has been buried in the books. I'm studying for yet another round of tests next week. Every few hours I like to take a break and re-join my family for a taste of reality.

The 4-year-old & Clean Technique
My oldest receives the same instruction every evening before dinner from his mother, "I want you to go wash your hands before dinner."

Now, this is a simple request (you would think) but let me share with you how this simple request translates in the mind of a four year old and the resulting stages of hand washing:

• Stage 1.) Declaration. The child makes the statement, "I don't want to wash my hands." This is not effective but it is an honest sentiment and it is considered, in combat rules, a 'warning shot over the enemy's bow'! This stage sets the tone for the coming sea battle.

• Stage 2.) Relativity (aka 'My Parents are Fools'). Identifying this stage is easy. One just listens for the 3-5 seconds (max.) of water running in the bathroom followed with a proclamation, "Momma? I'm done!"
• Important parent note: Discretely look to see if the soap tray is wet or dry
  

• Stage 3.) Realism. This stage is the result of introspection on the part of the child. The child realizes that all attempts up to now have failed. If he/she is going to have a chance in hell of getting out of actually washing hands... now is the time to get serious about deception. REALISM IS A MUST: 1) turn water on for a miniumum of 30 seconds, 2) sprinkle water on soap dish, and 3) a better, fool-proof proclamation to 'sell' the idea of cleanliness is required, "I used soap this time!"
• Important parent note: Check BOTH hands & hand towel for traces of moisture.

• Stage 4.) Surveillance. This last stage is not always necessary but it is easily identified by a direct order from Admiral Momma to First Mate Poppa, "Get off the couch and go watch your son wash his hands before I hurt you!"

Note: a child does not have to go through all stages in sequence (with exception to the first stage). Stage 1 is required because it is good combat etiquette. The MOST important thing to remember is that Poppa gets off the couch and does exactly what he is told!