Christmas On The Road

We spent the holiday at the inlaws. It is the first time since my wife and I started a family that we spent Christmas away from home. Last year wasn't that great of a Christmas with the loss of the job and being nervous about spending money. This year was not as stressful financially but then we had our minds on the health of another.

My father inlaw suffers from prostate cancer that has metastasized and is in the final stages (kidney failure, pulmonary embolism, you-name-it). I have to give him great respect. He has definitely made decisions about his own health and has not allowed 'things' to happen to him.

He turned down surgery 10 years ago when he was first diagnosed and so it has been 'watchful waiting'. Until this past year, when the cancer spread, he had refused chemotherapy and radiation. The chemo and radiation therapy he finally accepted was palliative and has bought him some time. He has ABSOLUTELY defined how his final days will be spent.

My father inlaw is in his eighties. If he was younger when he was first diagnosed I think everyone around him would have been more insistent with the radical prostatectomy but... like I said... he is a fiercely independent individual who fights every ounce to stay in control. It has only been this past summer that he ALLOWED me to cut his grass for the first time (for cries-sakes). He does not like anyone doing anything for him.

A Need for Humor
My inlaws live in what I call "the Las Vegas" of the Smoky Mountains... Pigeon Forge, Tennessee (less than 2 miles from 'Dollywood'). As a kid, I lived not that far from the real Las Vegas so I think I am qualified to draw some similarities here. Maybe not for the gambling aspect but definitely for the electric signage.

In the past year, roadside advertisements for a new show, Miracle, have popped up and I have to start making smart ass comments as soon as I see them (my wife really hates it).

"Has the religious right become so good at predicting political outcomes that they now can predict the precise moment a miracle will occur... and put it on stage?"

"A lightening bolt is going to hit this car if you don't stop!"

"I gave my only begotten son... so Joe-Bob can make a buck selling tickets & renting cabins."

"GOD?! I'm only married to him. Please do not smite me down along with him... I'm just along for the ride."

"Man! I would HATE being Jesus' understudy for THAT show."

"Will you stop it?"

"Think of the money they save by not having a special effects technician... they don't need one."

"STOP IT!"

Too bad the lady who sold her 'Virgin Mary in a Cheese Sandwich' for $28,000 didn't think about opening a show in Pigeon Forge. She could have made millions!

But don't worry. I understand she keeps it close to her heart by having it tattooed on her bosom.