Saturday, September 2, 2006

"Jesus Loves Me...

But He Can't Stand You."

[Disclaimer: If religion is a sensitive subject... this post is not for you]

My subject and first line is a title to one of my favorite all time songs. Its a stab at the self righteous by the Texas bluegrass band, The Austin Lounge Lizards. The story is told through the perspective of a hyper self righteous individual who believes he is so close to Jesus... he talks to him on the phone every day. It is sung to the traditional tune, "Jesus Loves Me This I Know."

Hum along with me.

Don't get me wrong. I respect the right of others to believe what they may. Live and let live is my motto. In fact, some of my best friends are quite the religious types. With that said there is a select group of individuals in our society that take pride in letting you know how much closer to Jebus they are... than you are!

Which brings me to the point of mentioning The Austin Lounge Lizards. Their song played in my head this past week during Med Surg class. The room is relatively small and I kept experiencing one, then a second, and finally a third person bumping my laptop as I was typing away at the end of class. I forgave the first incident, started to get annoyed at the second, and said, "EXCUSE YOU!" to the third. They just kept walking by... after barely acknowledging a problem with a look back.

"Jesus loves me this I know... and he told me where you're gonna go... can't you feel those hot flames licking yewww ewwww ewwww." [more lyrics]

All three students went immediately outside the door in the hallway to form a circle with twelve others for a group prayer (I call them 'The Apostles'). This is the subpopulation within the class that do not talk to you unless you go to their church. Seriously. They sit around talking about the stupidity of others. And boy do they take themselves seriously.

My type of humor does not go over well with them. I know. I've tried. It has something to do with the use of the word 'penis' in the punch line. [Chuckle]

"I'm raising my kids in a righteous way... so don't be bringing your kids around to play... your kids will grow up stoned, left-leaning, and gay." [more lyrics]

Makes me wonder how these students got accepted into nursing school and what kind of nurses they are going to be when they come across a patient not from their culture (subculture even). Oh my! I would love to be a fly on the wall during that assessment and subsequent lawsuit.

Its a sure bet that they will fail the culturally competent care questions on the NCLEX!

Getting Personal
I've had my turn at the organized religion thing. My father was a devout Mormon and my mother was raised Catholic. I'm one step down from the comedian, Rosanne Barr (who was half Mormon half Jewish). And I even lived in Utah for several years (sorry Utah Mormons... not trying to bash).

Religion is a very powerful force. When not practiced with care it is like juggling lit sticks of dynamite. I've personally witnessed the destructive force religion can play on all levels (personal, family, community). I've witnessed the shunning of the societal other and survived the blowing up of a marriage... all in the name of religion.

Don't get me wrong. I have great respect for other people and their beliefs. This post isn't a bashing of religious views (or my parents beliefs). One doesn't go through what I've experienced without coming out the other side with a broader world view and healthy respect for others.

These days my family (extended) is like the U.N. of religion.

It has taken me a long time (several years) to come to peace with my own relationship with a loving God and her ability to heal. For me, religion isn't the answer. Its spirituality. This is what works for me.

Be mindful.

The Real Problem
Now all I have to do is devise a mechanism to protect my laptop during class. I'm thinking about velcroing a BIG black magic marker (facing out) to the back of my laptop. Or maybe I should get some sharp objects. What do you think about razor wire?

God knows I'm just kidding.

(Go check out my next favorite Lizards tune... its a bluegrass cover of Pink Floyd's Brain Damage)

8 comments:

  1. I liked your post. We have those exact same students in my class too...

    My favorite is a girl who continues to tell me she prays for me, talks about her strive to be a good person, and lets me know she reads her bible on a nightly basis. But, when she gets even 1 point higher than me on an exam, boy does she rub it in..... forget humble.

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  2. That reminds me of the line in "Amish Paradise" by Wierd Al Yankovic:

    "I"m a hundred thousand times humbler than thou art!"

    Or something like that!

    By the way, I'm not Mormon, but I played one in Junior High...my friend was Mormon and I was Catholic, but I went to church with her a lot - sacrament meetings, classes after.

    One day I told my dad I was going to be a Mormon. After all, Donny Osmond was one!

    He didn't freak. He gave me a Book of Mormon, some LDS literature (pro and con) and told me to go ahead and study it. But...for every sacrament meeting I went to, I had to attend Mass the same week. I had to learn about both religions equally.

    Now this was a totally cool way to approach this. I was 13 and he left the decision up to ME and said he would support me either way.

    I wound up choosing Catholicism; there were too many issues that no one could clarify for me in the LDS church (even to this day).

    But...one of my adult friends is LDS, you can't beat the family values and moral teachings.

    So although I chose not to follow the "doctrines and covenants" so to speak, I have a deep respect for those who did choose to do so.

    And I had a really cool dad....

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  3. I'm a left wing, yellow dog Democrat, pro choice, pro birth control Catholic who believes woman should be priests, and all clergy should be allowed to marry. I think the morning after pill should be available to anyone who needs it with no parental permission, and over the counter (SOON, as long as you're over 18). I also go to mass as often as possible, and feel a close kinship to Jesus. God gave me a brain that works, and it's an insult to his/her work to not use it. I refuse to allow a (nice) book written by a bunch of very devout and well meaning men in a completely different time and culture make decisions for me. I read it, and accept the gist of the meaning, just not the literal words. I think things have gotten a little skewed in the interpretations and time. Just can't go with the literal interpretations because otherwise, we'd be out there stoning and pillaging and burning half the world, and hating everyone else. Doesn't seem to gibe with the nature of a loving mother/father God. So sue me.

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  4. As a gay man who has lived with HIV for 21 years, I love the way you (and the comment writers) think. The world would seem so much more, well, Christ-like, with people who are tolerant of other people's religious choices.

    I would like to recommend you watch the film 1 Giant Leap. In a chapter about God, a man from the Bahai faith describes the world as God's garden and how he put all the various flowers in it so that we can appreciate all the beauty in the diversity. Isn't that a more healthy viewpoint for us all? I am beautiful and so are you all...and this is one of God's messages. Anything that tells us otherwise should be a source of concern.

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  5. Yours is a very interesting post.

    The comments are fascinating. It is really easy to feel superior to people who think their religion is better than your religion, isn't it? Somehow I don't think THAT's what Jesus would have done either. Me? I really struggle with that.

    Don't get me wrong, I don't think those folks who think their religion is better are right either. That whole thing about taking the log out of your own eye before removing the mote from your brothers, it goes both ways is all I'm saying.

    Oh and RED sharpie. Forget the black magic marker.

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  6. So, here I am, reading the Carnival of Nursing Blogs, thinking about posting something to my own blog about how when I say, "Sweet Baby Jesus and all the blessed saints in heaven" I'm not taking the Lord's name in vain, Ms. "I put the Fun Die in Fundamentalist" Coworker, when I want to cuss you will KNOW it, and I read this.

    And it made me say "Holy Mother of God and all her wacky nephews."

    What you need to say when they run into your laptop is "That's alright, Jesus still loves you." It'll confuse the hell out of them. And I'm pretty sure there's a part in the Bible about bringing confusion to your enemies...

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  7. Sister above is on the right track. My son (who is not kidding at all), if treated poorly, will look at the offender and say, "I forgive you." Regardless of how they respond, he keeps repeating himself. Frustrates the crap out of people, and helps him maintain.

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  8. Wow! You took the thoughts right out of my head!

    I usually let it slide when someone makes a comment that lets me know they would really like me to come to heaven with them, and if I could only change one or two little things about me, it might happen.

    I know they are so fond of spotting who they won't have to spend eternity with, that anything I say will just keep me on their Hell list, or worse, it might seem like I'm seeking their permission to get into their Heaven.

    It is so stupid that differing religious beliefs, or dueling story books as I call it, can get people so offended about HOW another person prays, that killing each other is a result.

    Nice to know the more interesting, open minded people will be keeping me company. Even if it turns out that when we're dead we're dirt.

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